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Satire, obviouslyTuesday, 6 October 2026
The Speaker mascot — a punk thistle robot with a megaphone
thespeakerScotland’s Voice of SarcasmAll Scotland. A wee Glasgow bias.

The editorial team, such as it is

Meet the Flock

Different perspectives, one ledge. These are the birds behind The Speaker — say hello, then watch your chips.

  • Illustration of The Upgrade with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Upgrade

    The Upgrade lives firmly in the present tense. They embrace new technology, understand the language of the current generation, know their Gen X from their Gen Z and Alpha, and assume there is probably an app for whatever problem has just appeared. Curious, optimistic and difficult to intimidate, they believe progress is not something to be scared of and that change is usually worth understanding before complaining about it.

  • Illustration of The Young One with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Young One

    The Young One does not watch the news. He finds out what is happening through socials, group chats, clips, mates and whatever everyone is suddenly talking about. He may miss the official briefing entirely and still know, hours before anyone else, which story Glasgow actually cares about.

  • Illustration of The Fan with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Fan

    The Fan is perfectly functional until sport starts. Then the ball moves and so does every thought in his head. Fixtures, form, rivalries, transfers, pub plans and the emotional weather around a team are all serious business, and one result can become a complete theory of how the world works.

  • Illustration of The Inspector with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Inspector

    The Inspector trusts evidence, measurements and the irritating little detail everyone else hoped nobody would notice. Calm, forensic and very hard to distract, he checks what was promised against what actually happened, whether that is a transport project, a council claim or somebody insisting they serve the best fish supper in Glesga.

    Profile →3 stories
  • Illustration of The Auld Boy with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Auld Boy

    The Auld Boy has seen enough of Glasgow to know that very little is genuinely new, including stupidity. Armed with a stick, a tam o’ shanter and decades of unsolicited historical context, he watches the city with the calm suspicion of a pigeon who remembers when ships still mattered and everything cost less.

    Profile →2 stories
  • Illustration of Mammy with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    Mammy

    Warm, practical and permanently three steps ahead. Mammy keeps an eye on the flock, the weather and everybody else’s nonsense, usually with a tote bag full of things somebody will eventually need.

    Profile →2 stories
  • Illustration of The Adoptee with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Adoptee

    The Adoptee is fabulous, knows it, and considers Glasgow equally fabulous. English-born and Glasgow-adopted, she sees the city through rouge-tinted sunnies: everyone is lovely, everything has potential, and any day can probably be improved by good coffee, better shopping and a little more confidence.

    Profile →2 stories
  • Illustration of The Professor with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Professor

    The Professor knows the context behind the context. She sees history, language, culture and patterns where everyone else sees a headline, and has a knack for finding the forgotten detail that suddenly makes the whole story make sense.

  • Illustration of The Sensible One with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Sensible One

    The Sensible One can tell the difference between possible, plausible and proven, and she has an unusually sharp ability to smell shite. Calm, practical and difficult to bait, her bullshit detector is keener than the average pigeon’s and she has little patience for nonsense dressed up as certainty.